18 Comments
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Alexandru Constantin's avatar

I'm just shocked you can get a federal job as a white guy.

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Caleb Caudell's avatar

In my orientation there were two or three of us out of about thirty

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Alexandru Constantin's avatar

I don't think I've seen a white mail carrier since I was a little kid.

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enfanterribleidiotsavantgarden's avatar

Homeland Security says that their goal is something on those lines: "to protect american values and lifestyle".

Based on the field observations you always bring here. And the general spirit that you feel when doomscrolling through the catastrophe (the thing of the moment: "wifejak")

What a great job of those feds! Great values those. To protect...

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Caleb Caudell's avatar

The feds: there when you don’t want them, not there when you need them

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A.P. Murphy's avatar

Tons of food for thought as usual CC - a veritable thought-food binge that makes me vomit up thought and go back for seconds.

Just a few scattered reaction shots from the hip: First, my union contacts tell me there's never been a better time to join the best organized union workforce in the US. Maybe you'll find that long sought-after feeling of rooted community among your brother and sister letter carriers (didn't work out so well for me when I was in the Royal Mail literally delivering letters to Her Maj the Queen).

Re slow people, I also used to have your disability of not being able to relax in the presence of the less gifted. Nothing like becoming the father of a severely mentally disabled child to chase away those cobwebs, lemme tell you.

Thanks to that I've learned that smarts ain't everything, and can occasionally even talk to Americans, so tolerant have I become of mental limitations. If you too are blessed with a mentally handicapped child you could learn the beatitudes of grace without even the need of any of that "ennobling religious" bollox you so swear by.

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Caleb Caudell's avatar

Murph, I have to admit you’re tugging on my hardened heartstrings just a bit. I think I’d probably undergo the same transformation; from where I’m sitting it’s good to know it’s possible. And I’ve gone ahead and joined the union, it does seem to be a competently run organization with good health benefits at least by American standards.

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A.P. Murphy's avatar

I'm loving this growth arc in progress - at this rate you'll turn into one of those Frank Capra characters who actually make a difference to their peers. Careful it doesn't all turn too positive and ruin your gloom-schtick.

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Andrew Alaine's avatar

Went that deep and didn’t mention bukowski, I’m both impressed and overexposed haha. Great stuff!

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Caleb Caudell's avatar

Oh it certainly can. Another possible pitfall of avoiding cliche is that you can end up with the most laborious constructions that are really just elaborate restatements in the attempt to not say what’s been said before

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Andrew Alaine's avatar

Very true. I wish we had words for both, I bet the Germans do haha

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Caleb Caudell's avatar

Thank you. I wanted to avoid the most obvious comparison. I like Bukowski well enough but I wouldn’t claim him as a major influence

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Andrew Alaine's avatar

I understand. I’ve been thinking lately (not accusing you of this) that avoidance of cliché itself can be a form of cliché, like we’ve come full circle through our continual media overdose

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Asperges's avatar

Every new beginning has the potential for abject despair, and literary inspiration. I am expecting a superior product from your hypertrophic language center from now on sir. And congratulations on the job. Paycheck good.

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Swing Thoughts and Roundabouts's avatar

Bruh. Why are you so scared of getting shot?

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Caleb Caudell's avatar

Oh I’m not scared, just thinking of public perception and how it’s shifted from viewing postal workers as unhinged to that of students

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Swing Thoughts and Roundabouts's avatar

I've always worked on the assumption that it was only a matter of time in whatever job I've done. Teaching is a short path to alcohol. A profession equal parts maddening and gratifying. In the end, I decided that constant embattlement isn't for me.

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Jesse Hilson 🌿🩸's avatar

“clock tower meltdowns”

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